Some illnesses have more negative emotional repercussions than others, and some are more amenable to direct action than others.
I am not a traditional male but did grow up in a stoic family, and because of negative dynamics, we didn't discuss feelings. I've overcome many of the negatives of my upbringing, but keep much to myself, and can occasionally surprise my spouse when I do say something negative, or that something bothers me.
That said, I've had Type 1 diabetes for the past 43 years, and the attitude that has most helped me is the hard-nosed stoic that works against the feelings of failure that can accompany illness. One chooses to do better, be better, in the face of threat. Talking about it wouldn't have helped much.
But I realize that isn't the same for everyone, or all illnesses.
When one is young, the disease is controllable, and life is not ideal, a tough attitude can help, but as one ages, there are fewer options for change, and illness can be disruptive to a settled life, giving a rise to fears about our mortality, losing our life along with losing the joy of others. This is when talking is likely most helpful, dealing with a situation where the options are few and the possibilities unsettling.
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