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How to Foster Empathy in Children - Responses

#1

I've always scored highly on tests of empathy, and think of myself as a compassionate person, but I am also very rational. I have a tendency to distrust most appeals for money, knowing that many charities are not of the highest quality and that play on people's emotions with maudlin appeals. For my spouse and I, our interests in giving are tempered as suggested. We've chosen a handful of charities to which we give regularly, and then a smaller number to which we give annually, or as needed. The last being those that deal with catastrophes and crises. My criteria for charities is, one, that they deal with issues we deem important, and two, that they are highly-rated by Charity Navigator. The latter helps filter out charities that over-advertise, spend too much on administration, or are not transparent and auditable.

That said, we are not significant donors. My spouse works as a researcher of high net worth individuals, those likely to give in the millions, not in the thousands. In the past few years, our charitable giving is both driven and constrained by recent politics. We are comfortable enough, and the election of a grifter, an artless, heartless miscreant, has allowed us to increase our giving but it also makes us concerned for our own welfare, tempering our charity.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/10/well/live/how-to-foster-empathy-in-children.html?comments#permid=29688056

#2

Considering what builds empathy, I have to wonder from where mine came. My mother was upbeat and cheerful - she later turned abusive, overwhelmed with my father's death and the demands of work - and my father was smart and moral, but neither were charitable. On the other hand, my sister has always been drawn to helping professions, and although I work in technology, I have high levels ideational empathy, where one imagines and thinks about the positions of others and what might drive them. I do remember informal messages from school and from media, the adages of 'do unto others' or to 'put yourself in their shoes' seem particularly relevant. Also, the sense that quick judgment was ignorant and stupid, the habit of the mob, is very strong for me, but again, other than media or educational messages, there are no influences on me to avoid assumptions.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/10/well/live/how-to-foster-empathy-in-children.html?comments#permid=29688264

#3

@fact or friction - It is not so simple. Conservatives actually give more to charity, but liberals want the government to take care of people. To us, it might seem like Republicans are cruel and heartless, but they are just unconcerned with what we see as concern for people. They are likely empathetic to people in their world, other whites, Christians, the military, etc., those that are not so important in our spheres of concern.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/10/well/live/how-to-foster-empathy-in-children.html?comments#commentsContainer&permid=29688129%3A29688351

#4

Goleman, of Emotional Intelligence fame, described three (3) types of empathy, cognitive, emotional, and empathic, and we differ on the degree and types we exhibit and experience. Oddly, a few of these comments have elements that show a relative lack of empathy of one form or another. Ironic, in comments on an article on teaching empathy, is the rush to judgment and a lack of awareness of others motives.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/10/well/live/how-to-foster-empathy-in-children.html?comments#permid=29689878

#5

@Duane Coyle -

First, what is the lack of empathy? Just off the top of my head, I think of psychopaths, mass murderers, and cruelty. True, the exceptions are not the rule and granted there is likely great variation in actual behavior within the 'normal' aspect of the curve.

Second, empathy can be broad, covering a range of patterns, cognitive, emotional, and empathic so one could quibble about which ones are good, as well as how much is beneficial, and if at any point it becomes problematic. That said, a person unable to understand other's emotions, unable to feel other's pain, and unconcerned about the welfare of others, is essentially someone with a profound emotional disability.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/10/well/live/how-to-foster-empathy-in-children.html?comments#permid=29691084:29691273

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